Child development experts like to use fancy words and phrases that those of us in the thick of it don’t use very often.  One of these phrases is “autonomy support,” and it refers to a child-rearing approach that supports the child’s autonomy rather than emphasizing control.  Several studies suggest that by using autonomy support, parents will actually encourage higher levels of achievement in their children than if they simply work to control the outcome through punishment or other means.  This is an interesting concept, and one that could use a bit more definition before we can put it into practice.  Good ideas don’t always come with a solid blueprint, but maybe there is a morsel of truth that can be modified appropriately for different family situations. 

When I see kids misbehaving in public even when their parents tell them to stop, I question studies like this one.  How is a parent supposed to be smiley and supportive about schoolwork and then enforce a curfew?  That is the art and science of it all I suppose.  One study on this topic focuses on maternal autonomy and the other on general parental autonomy, but the point is the same.  Sometimes kids need encouragement more than punishment.  If anyone can figure out where that line is drawn, let me know.  Maybe we can write a book or something.